Friday, April 20, 2012

DC McMillen: Learn the Terms before You Spread the Words

Hello DC, welcome Muse It Hot sista. Congratulations on your newest release, The Rusty Nail, an erotica romance novella…and also the name of D.C.’s favorite drink *smile* We got to spend the day together with the Ravencraft’s Romance Realm sistas. *smile* And, we did a bit of partying ~ hopefully no hangovers today. LOL

DC, I’m going to go ahead and let you take the stage…I’d love to hear about those ‘terms’….

Here’s DC McMillen.

Learn the Terms Before You Spread the Word

My family hails from a tiny little town in the middle of Nowheresville.  It takes about two days of driving to get anywhere and the moose outnumber the people at least ten to one (that is not an actual statistic, by the way. I made it up).  Now that you have an idea of where this city girl actually comes from, let me relay a conversation that took place between my brother, who still lives in my hometown, along with much of my family, and me. If nothing else, I find it terribly amusing.

My brother on my dad’s side called me the other night. His voice was more serious and quiet than usual.

“D.C., I have something to tell you.”

“What is it? Is grandpa okay?”

“Yes, everyone’s fine but I just found something out about your sister that I think you should know.”

“Is she okay?” (I am heart rate is elevating at this point.)

“Yes but she’s, well, she’s...”

“Spit it out, Man!”

“She’s a swinger.”

“Holy shit, that’s terrible! She’s only fifteen, for gawd sake. She’s too young to be sleeping around! Since when do fifteen year old couples swing?”

“What? No, she’s not sleeping around. I mean, she likes girls.”

“Jesus, Mike. You scared the shit out of me. What you mean to say is that she’s a lesbian.”

“No, she’s not a lesbian. She says she likes boys, too. But she’s dating a girl right now. She’s a swinger. She swings between boys and girls.”

“That’s not the definition of a swinger, you idiot. She’s bisexual. The term is bisexual. Shit. Call me when you have real news. And for the love of jeebus stop calling everyone in the family members to tell them our sister swings. ”

“So what’s the definition of a swinger then?”

I explained it to him. Then he asked me to explain how I knew so much about this stuff. Luckily I was able to use the old standby that I live in the middle of a city. We know things the country folk don’t. 

As of yet, no one in my hometown knows I am an erotica writer. Can you just imagine how those phone calls between family members would go?  They would probably make up words just to describe what I do.  Here’s how I imagine that going:

“Dad, I have something to tell you about your daughter....No, not the swinger, the other one....She’s a, well, she’s a smut pusher...yeah, I think the technical term is smusher...yes that’s a real job. Sort of. I mean, she works from home...Oh yeah, it’s amazing the things you can do with a laptop and fancy internet connection...okay, I’ll tell her you said hello. I just have to call everyone else in the family to inform them that my sister spreads the word of porn now...I don’t know if she swings or not, dad. I forgot to you too.”

Thanks so much, Kay Dee, for allowing me to crash your blog! Before I go, I would like to offer up a blurb and short excerpt from my newest release, The Rusty Nail, an erotic novella.

Click the Cover for infor & buy link

The Rusty Nail is a novella about a diverse group of characters who somehow find themselves acquainted with a dive bar in the wrong area of town. The entire novella takes place in the span of a single day, and I hope you will be entertained (and turned on) as each character discovers the good, the bad, and the ugly about their partners, themselves, and their hidden sexual desires.

This novella contains blatantly erotic, sexy and graphic M/F, M/M, F/F and even a couple of solo scenes. In other words, this novella is totally hot.

The Rusty Nail, excerpt

Myrna knocked on the window and I crossed the sparsely furnished bar to unlock the door for her. Her expression was not quite as cranky as it usually was. She was actually quite an attractive lady when her face wasn’t bunched up into a knot and she wasn’t stooped over, acting like she’s twenty years older than she really is.

“How’d it go today, Randall?” she asked.

“Two lesbians, a psychopath, and a gay guy with his straight boyfriend,” I responded.

“Same old same old then,” she retorted. “Why don’t you get yourself outta this place, Randall?”

Good question, I thought to myself. Then a picture of me sitting on my mattress with only a bottle of Jack to keep me company flashed through my head. Sighing, I turned the radio dial from the country station that had been playing all day to the news.

“Why don’t you go on home, Randall,” Myrna said as she pulled a pair of yellow, rubber gloves out of her purse. “It looks like you had a quite a day. I’ll lock up and leave the keys in the coffee can out back. Don’t worry, I’ll burry them real deep under the cigarette butts for you.”

“Thanks, Mrs. McFinn. That sounds real nice.” I paused for a moment and looked at her. She actually had a smile on her face. In this dim lighting, she looked quite fetching. As she scrubbed one of the tables I had only half-heartedly wiped down earlier, her boobs wobbled against her pale pink sweatshirt. “Better yet, why don’t you join me for a soda? It looks like you had an interesting day yourself. Why don’t we swap stories?”

She shook her head and opened her mouth as if to say no but then she closed it before the words came out. She looked me up and down like she was sizing me up.

“Okay, Randall,” she said. “I have had a doozey of a day. No point in waiting to tell Henry about it.” She crossed her hand over her chest and sat down at the table she had just cleaned. I poured two sodas in the cleanest glasses I could find and joined her.

“You have a real nice smile, Mrs. McFinn,” I said as I sat down across from her.

“Please, call me Myrna.” She responded almost shyly.


Thanks for reading this excerpt! The Rusty Nail was released this March through Rebel Ink Press, and is available on Amazon, Smashwords, B&N, etc.

Please feel free to keep in touch with me through my blog, twitter, or Facebook page.

DC, thanks for being the featured guest author today and sharing your guest post…smusher (love the term). LOL

Shall we start on the sangrias again?

Thanks, everyone for visiting with DC…go ahead and leave her a comment or question…she loves to chat. *smile*

Until Next Time…Warm Hearts & Hugs,

Kay Dee

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Kay Dee Royal said...

Good Morning DC ~ how kool is this...two days in a row of fun. Love hearing those 'terms'...endearing or bashes, created just for dad OR mom OR brother...I never really thought of it until this post.

Why do we do that to ourselves? (LOL)

Giving you a heads up - my internet connection has been giving fits (almost didn't get you all set up for this morning) ~ so letting you know I'm at the mercy of my internet carrier...and not real impressed with their service the last few days.

That said - I'm mixing mimosas this morning...not thrilled with the bubbly part of it, but giving it a whirl. How many strawberries do you want in yours?

D.C. said...

I want twelve strawberries.

Thanks for letting me take over your blog today! I'm still experiencing a sugar high from yesterdays brownies. :)

The more that I think about it, the more I like "smusher". I've been called worse!

Toby Neal said...

Hee hee!
This reminds me. I don't know what BDSM means and I'm afraid to ask or use it in a sentence. I'm sure its something involving handcuffs though.

D.C. said...

I think it either stands for Bondage & Discipline, Sadism & Masochism OR Beavers Donning Shiny Metal.

Kay Dee Royal said...

LOL - DC...Oh, my you're making up more words. Love that creativity. It's gotta be the strawberries, do you think? *giggles*

I think you should do a post on it, DC...

My internet went south early this morning, just got it back. I'll tell you, I'm really frustrated with this company right now.

Hey...the strawberries are so big, had to go shop for a glass to fit them in, ended up buying a glass pitcher. It's okay, bought a giant straw, too. tee-hee Do you want an umbrella?

D.C. said...

Yes, a giant umbrella, please! With more strawberries impaled on it.

Lorca Damon said...

I had a SWEET Southern coworker ask me a question this week: "I bought your book and it's really good, but I have to ask you...what's a MILF?"

I explained, then asked, "Did you have to do that face to face? Couldn't use the inter-office instant message thing?"

"No, I was afraid someone would read it and realize that I wanted to know what that was."

"But you didn't know what that was. So how did you know to be ashamed of asking?"

"Well, I kind of figured out what the F might stand for. After all, you wrote it."

D.C. said...

Ah yes, the MILF. Monster In Lime Felt.

Amberr Meadows said...

Smut peddlers and swingers LOL Love this post!

Raine Thomas said...

Sadly, I'm usually the one having to request definitions of acronyms and sexual slang terms. Having grown up with three brothers, I blame them for keeping me so sheltered. Great post, D.C.!

D.C. said...

Thanks for stopping in Amberr and Raine! You ladies rock! YLR!

Ciara Ballintyne said...

Oh this is hilarious, especially the imagined conversation if your family were to find out you were an erotica writer.

I once had to explain to a friend the purpose of a double ended dildo. And she's not from the country.

D.C. said...

Ciara, that's hilarious. I would have loved to be in a fly on the wall for that conversation!

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